A few days ago, the phone rang. The caller was a man with whom I have been in relationships for a long time. He is very seriously ill. No, he did not ask for help. Probably, he needed me to know about this... For a while, this news has literally knocked me out. Despite the fact that our paths diverged more than 12 years ago, today I am very sympathetic to him. I sympathize, in spite of the fact that both the relations and the rupture of these relations were, saying the least of it, “very painful”. Just humanly sympathize. I recalled one of his expressions - a woman either loves or regrets. If this misfortune had happened to him more than 12 years ago, I and my sympathy would have stayed together, as much as needed, I'm just such a kind of person. I would not stay with him not out of pity ... It seems to me - pity destroys all alife.
Sometimes relationship between a man and a woman in which, for some reason, love no longer lives or does not live at all, continue to be because this is a habit, because of sorry for him, sorry for yourself, sorry for children. In my opinion, this is not hidden self-pity, based on laziness. Instead of changing something, it's better to find empathic looks of those who around you. Oh! I am poor, unhappy - my husband is a parasite, an alcoholic who this cruel world does not recognize, the third (5-8-10) year lies on the sofa and does not take a damn thing. Oh! - how will he be without me and the children. Oh! - how can children grow up without a father, even such an "unfortunate".
Strong people do not regret - they sympathize - it gives them the strength to believe in themselves, they need the support of loved ones. People who need acpity do not need a way out, they need a “partner in state”, with whom you can endlessly chew on their plight, doing nothing, changing nothing, not fighting.
I can only sympathize. I do not know - is this right?..